Money Talks - But We Don't Like What It's Saying
Insights you'll find in this article...
- Cultural discomfort and bias against discussing money
- Importance of advocating for fair compensation
- Shifting mindset towards financial transparency and fairness
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I Want the Antidote to my Kryptonite!Earning What We're Worth with Confidence
Often when I’m talking to my clients about goals, money isn’t mentioned. When I bring it up, they’re likely to dismiss it, saying “It’s not about the money.” It seems they’re uncomfortable with the topic.
As human beings, it’s quite normal to cringe at the mention of money, especially when it's tied to our own desire for more.
And there’s a glaring contradiction in how we view ambition. We cheer for career advancements and personal growth, yet we shrink back when the topic shifts to reaching certain financial levels.
Isn’t it peculiar? We're encouraged to strive for the best in all realms except for our bank accounts, where suddenly, ambition is recast as greed. It feels power-hungry. Many corporations even ban discussing compensation with peers.
What appears to have happened is that our culture has woven a narrative around money that's inherently transactional.
When we discuss earnings, profits, or financial goals, it's often met with skepticism—as if the mere act of wanting more is a betrayal of altruistic values.
This transactional view traps us in a cycle where talking about money is uncomfortable and seeking more of it is seen as selfish. It makes us afraid of saying that we want fair reward for our contributions. It implies that more for me means less for you.
Think about it. We celebrate working hard, long hours, and getting the job done. We celebrate passion, creativity, and dedication, but shy away from attaching a monetary value to these qualities.
There’s a misguided nobility in the idea that financial gain should not be a primary motivator, but isn't this just another way of saying our skills and contributions aren't worth much? And if not, how are we fairly compensated?
Find common ground in the narrative of client Alicia C., VP/Controller as she navigates the complexities of leadership:
"If you are considering coaching with Stacy, DO IT! She is great! My goal in working with Stacy was to work on more effective and persuasive communication tactics in dealing with a burned out, unhappy manager at our company. After working with Stacy, I was able to help the employee to be more accountable for herself and her team. Our communications are also much improved."
Open Money Discussions
To change the narrative, we must first address our own biases about money. Why should expressing out loud the desire for fair compensation be any different from advocating for a healthy work environment or professional respect?
I’ve been pondering this thought: If we don’t seek fair remuneration for our services, we’ll eventually rebel against ourselves.
It’s not kind to discount ourselves or discount our services; we end up asking our employers to take advantage of us; and they will.
What If We Don’t Know What’s Fair Compensation?
Perhaps openly discussing our financial goals would foster deeper conversations about value & worth.
But we resist.
Maybe we’re afraid of the word “fair”, as in “life isn’t fair, and that’s why I’m not getting paid more, and I can’t do anything about it.” Or maybe we’re afraid that other people don’t value us as much as we value ourselves. Or perhaps we don’t value ourselves enough, even though we’d like the money, so we minimize and avoid the conversation altogether.
I had a client whose competitive work friend said “You better not make more than me.” Joking, but not joking. My client was hesitant to be fully herself and struggled with stepping into her own power and expertise in case she might get a bigger bonus or pay raise.
In my own case, I was hesitant to charge my own worth when I first became a coach. My self-sabotaging thoughts….
”Who do I think I am?”
“They’re never going to pay that….”
“Am I really worth that?”
Of course I am.
Acknowledging and discussing our financial aspirations serves to recognize and assert the value of our contributions in a tangible way, rather than merely sweeping it under the rug.
This insight is crucial because it challenges the common narrative that discussing money is inherently self-serving or greedy. It suggests that by avoiding these conversations, we are not only undervaluing ourselves but also perpetuating a culture where financial transparency and fairness are sidelined.
When we shift the focus from money as a taboo topic to money as a measure of our professional contributions, we enable a healthier, more honest dialogue about what we deserve.
We know that money talks.
The deeper understanding here is that how we talk about money can either limit us, or allow us to expand.
By being upfront about our financial desires, we’re able to advocate for ourselves and also invite others to reconsider the value of work beyond the hours logged.
This approach shifts the conversation from a transactional, zero-sum game, where more for one means less for another, to a value-creation perspective, where fair compensation is seen as a rightful share for meaningful contributions.
Speak Boldly: Transform Money Conversations
Change the way you talk money and embrace your worth in financial discussions. Dive deep into advocating for fair compensation and confidently navigating workplace conversations about money. Personalized coaching can guide you through this transformation.
Ready to shift your mindset, talk boldly regarding your worth, and secure fair compensation in your career? I invite you to join me for an exclusive Explore Coaching call with me. In our time together, we'll discuss the challenges you face and see if coaching is the right fit for you.
On the Explore Coaching call, we will explore your goals and challenges to determine if coaching can help you achieve your financial and professional aspirations. This session is designed to help you gain clarity on your next steps and see how coaching can support your journey.
To book your call, just click here to pick a time that suits you.
Make this the moment you start advocating for your worth and leading with confidence.
Remember, changing the way you talk money is about recognizing and asserting your value every day. With the right support, you can lead with both strength and assurance. This is where you redefine your professional worth, establish a culture of financial transparency, and inspire others with your integrity and self-assurance.
Cheers to your journey of bold money conversations, where you conquer challenges and inspire all with your undeniable sense of worth and wisdom.
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